sparkle

In 11 days i will turn 25. So close to my birthday i naturally look back at the past year and give myself a fair and honest evaluation. The conclusion i reached was: I need to do better, I want to be better in...everything. I often ask myself if people just know anything else but wanting. It bothered me and i think it still bothers me that we can never be happy with what we currently have. Something is always missing and the present moment is never perfect. What a waste is that in terms of energy and time?! When i  say "we", I mean all normal people. I often hear individuals say "Im happy right now and I don't regret a single thing in my life." If that's the case and you happen to be reading my blog out of respect for the writer, quit now and come back after a month, a year or when you are 89 years old and you can really understand what Im writing about. (No one is perfect, come on)
I think so many of us fail to see how happy they are and how much they have because they are constantly forced to measure up to constantly changing criteria, demands or objects of comparison. To delete this automatic button of dissatisfaction is difficult, I find. Some may say that this is really a good thing because it will push you to always excel yourself and become a better competitor in the jungle called the job market. WRONG. It is not about competing, it is about finding what you really want and going after what YOU want, not what society, boss or your peers is after. If we always compare ourselves with the neighbor we will eventually lose ourselves and become a shadow of that neighbor, who's probably a shadow of someone else. How sad is it that we don't appreciate life the way it presents itself to us but instead we mold it into a shape that society tells us to. May be this is why generally good things have lost its value and authority. A career by 25, a fiancee and marriage by 30, a baby or two by 35, a bigger house and a car by 37 but seriously life can't be a schedule! In most cases, it isn't and it shouldn't be (for many reasons that i am too tired to discuss right now but if you really want to hear them come around and ask me).
Everyday i try to remember how grateful i am for everything in my life (because there were moments i was so close to losing so much) and it is that moment that i expect a sudden rush of glee and happiness to take over me but instead i just have a little smirk on my face (because otherwise i would just look weird to everyone else) and a second later its all back to normalcy (meaning compare-compare-compare). I'd like this to change. I'd like us all to remember that we are really in a much better state than most of...oh wait that's another comparison. Could we possibly know that we are happy without measuring up to something or someone? I have heard people who are deep in love say that they are living what they perceive as "perfect happiness." My question is what happens when you break up, divorce or split up. Happiness has to be this great INDEPENDENT feeling we feel because we are happy with who we are, the way we are, where we are. I am obviously not going to answer a question that much more capable people have tried (since the world have existed actually) but may be i can make at least myself and you think about how awesome we are and not let such astray matters bring us down (as they have managed to bring me down almost on a daily basis in the past week). No matter how much showing off or comparison we are forced to encounter on a daily basis, we HAVE to remember where we stand and be happy with it. Just enjoy the present moment. Life is difficult as it is, so many things could go wrong, we really must try to keep that little sparkle of hope burning or else life just turns into a mundane and difficult chore.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIn_EvuNEh4